One month ago I wrote a post for those girls who are planning to get married with Indian boys. Today, I have decided to write a post for those guys( specially Indians) who are planning to marry with foreign girl.
First of all would love to say, dear friends the fact that I got married with Indian, doesn't mean that, whole my family and friends are ready to do the same.
Most of the time I have seen that a boy wants to get married with foreigner just because of attraction, without understanding the responsibilities and consequences.
We are talking about whole life relationship and it's not a joke, it's a huge life long responsibility which only you have to care.
Now lets come to the reality.
Many of Indian guys are ready to get married with foreigners, but how many of their parents are accepting those marriages? Even sometimes after long relationship they still do not accept it and at the end, girl and boy get hurt because of break up.So dear boys understand one thing, if your parents are against to marriage with foreigner, its better do not start any relationship and later on have problems with your feelings and family. Most of the guys are very connected with their families and when family is not agree for those marriages it becomes practically impossible to go against them. But there is a chance to save your love, the thing is that you have to be strong enough to keep your decision and struggle till the time when you will have success.
The role of a man in family is very huge, and believe me many things depends on you.
In every country, even if there is intercultural marriages, girls still need time to adjust in new environment and culture of particular family, which becomes more difficult in case of girl, from foreign origin. Most of the cases conflict occurs in this time period. Boy has to understand that she is not a "robot" but a human being who wants time to get adjust in family with entirely different culture and habits, and it's impossible to imagine how hard it is for her to do so, when she is already in cultural shock and the most crucial part is that the time, which she needs is not given by the boy's family (in most of the cases).This is the time, a boy have to make a balance in between his family and wife, and to defend his wife if needed. Explain his family about difficulties which she forces.
The role of man is to protect her wife, support her, be her strength, and try to understand the pressure, which she feels during her first years of marriage.Sometime husband should protect the wife even from his own family.
Try to understand my point and do not take it negative way. The problem is that whatever boy's family expects from the bride and whatever she is able to give in that point of time, its very different.
Of course if family is able to understand her and accepts whole those problems which she forces in that time, it will be great (and such families also exist), but otherwise it becomes very stressful for her to understand the environment where she lives.
When boy wants to marry girl from different culture and religion, he has to understand that she will need to celebrate whole the religious traditions, and there will always be mixed religious environment at home. There should not be forceful religious changes, until unless she will not do it by her own wish. And it can be the case, when your baby will have your wife's religious view, and there should not be any catastrophic answer, because the baby will grow up in family where is two religions and which one they will accept, no one knows, until the time they grow up and understand the real idea of both religions.
Yeah its possible also that your baby will not care typical names from your country.It can be name also from your wife's nation or even some international names.
Before marriage with foreigner, try to understand that she can not change her dressing sense just after your marriage registration. You are getting married with someone who has been living with same style at least 20 years. Of course India is not the country, where female can wear every kind of clothes, but the same time, western style is not prohibited here. There are lot of clothes which are not "open", but beautiful. So let's her to adjust herself slowly, and finally not everyone can like and wear Indian traditional clothes.
After marriage do not expect that she will start to liking an indian cuisine and cook everything just from once. Most probably you will need to explain several times, help sometimes, until she will learn how to cook.
And be ready to have also some different cuisine food, because for sure she will miss her country cuisine and since she is a member of your family she will definitely want to cook her cultural dishes (at least in festival days).
When you go for shopping be ready that she will buy some different stuff, not the one you are use to . It starts from crockery and ends with food.
When you will get married, accept that she will need to go back her country at least once in couple of years. Understand one thing, she will miss her family and culture, and it will be very important for her to visit her motherland.
After all of this, I could not forget the most important: do not expect dowry from her side.
Yeah some countries have something similar to this, but its not the way as it is in India.Most of the time you will get nothing, but in some cases you can get some gifts, however it will not be with same quantity and volume as it happens during Indian marriages.
After all of this if you are ready for the marriage with foreign girls, I would love to wish you all the best and successful married life.
(Dear readers, those all facts are not taken from my personal experience, many of them I have seen in different families during my stay in India)
Wish you all love and peace
First of all would love to say, dear friends the fact that I got married with Indian, doesn't mean that, whole my family and friends are ready to do the same.
Most of the time I have seen that a boy wants to get married with foreigner just because of attraction, without understanding the responsibilities and consequences.
We are talking about whole life relationship and it's not a joke, it's a huge life long responsibility which only you have to care.
Now lets come to the reality.
Many of Indian guys are ready to get married with foreigners, but how many of their parents are accepting those marriages? Even sometimes after long relationship they still do not accept it and at the end, girl and boy get hurt because of break up.So dear boys understand one thing, if your parents are against to marriage with foreigner, its better do not start any relationship and later on have problems with your feelings and family. Most of the guys are very connected with their families and when family is not agree for those marriages it becomes practically impossible to go against them. But there is a chance to save your love, the thing is that you have to be strong enough to keep your decision and struggle till the time when you will have success.
The role of a man in family is very huge, and believe me many things depends on you.
In every country, even if there is intercultural marriages, girls still need time to adjust in new environment and culture of particular family, which becomes more difficult in case of girl, from foreign origin. Most of the cases conflict occurs in this time period. Boy has to understand that she is not a "robot" but a human being who wants time to get adjust in family with entirely different culture and habits, and it's impossible to imagine how hard it is for her to do so, when she is already in cultural shock and the most crucial part is that the time, which she needs is not given by the boy's family (in most of the cases).This is the time, a boy have to make a balance in between his family and wife, and to defend his wife if needed. Explain his family about difficulties which she forces.
The role of man is to protect her wife, support her, be her strength, and try to understand the pressure, which she feels during her first years of marriage.Sometime husband should protect the wife even from his own family.
Try to understand my point and do not take it negative way. The problem is that whatever boy's family expects from the bride and whatever she is able to give in that point of time, its very different.
Of course if family is able to understand her and accepts whole those problems which she forces in that time, it will be great (and such families also exist), but otherwise it becomes very stressful for her to understand the environment where she lives.
When boy wants to marry girl from different culture and religion, he has to understand that she will need to celebrate whole the religious traditions, and there will always be mixed religious environment at home. There should not be forceful religious changes, until unless she will not do it by her own wish. And it can be the case, when your baby will have your wife's religious view, and there should not be any catastrophic answer, because the baby will grow up in family where is two religions and which one they will accept, no one knows, until the time they grow up and understand the real idea of both religions.
Yeah its possible also that your baby will not care typical names from your country.It can be name also from your wife's nation or even some international names.
Before marriage with foreigner, try to understand that she can not change her dressing sense just after your marriage registration. You are getting married with someone who has been living with same style at least 20 years. Of course India is not the country, where female can wear every kind of clothes, but the same time, western style is not prohibited here. There are lot of clothes which are not "open", but beautiful. So let's her to adjust herself slowly, and finally not everyone can like and wear Indian traditional clothes.
After marriage do not expect that she will start to liking an indian cuisine and cook everything just from once. Most probably you will need to explain several times, help sometimes, until she will learn how to cook.
And be ready to have also some different cuisine food, because for sure she will miss her country cuisine and since she is a member of your family she will definitely want to cook her cultural dishes (at least in festival days).
When you go for shopping be ready that she will buy some different stuff, not the one you are use to . It starts from crockery and ends with food.
When you will get married, accept that she will need to go back her country at least once in couple of years. Understand one thing, she will miss her family and culture, and it will be very important for her to visit her motherland.
After all of this, I could not forget the most important: do not expect dowry from her side.
Yeah some countries have something similar to this, but its not the way as it is in India.Most of the time you will get nothing, but in some cases you can get some gifts, however it will not be with same quantity and volume as it happens during Indian marriages.
After all of this if you are ready for the marriage with foreign girls, I would love to wish you all the best and successful married life.
(Dear readers, those all facts are not taken from my personal experience, many of them I have seen in different families during my stay in India)
Wish you all love and peace
Very well written - will be useful for boys wanting to marry foreign girls.
ReplyDeleteRegards
Vikram Karve
Academic and Creative Writing Journal Vikram Karve
Thanks Dear Vikram Karve, tried to be as honest as its possible
DeleteWell written. Both sides should understand that it will not be easy. Enjoyed reading this article all are true words.
ReplyDeleteWell written. Both sides should understand that it will not be easy. Enjoyed reading this article all are true words.
ReplyDeletethank you Ashkhen Khachatryan for your nice comment
Delete