Marriage with Indian Boy

Marriage, one of the most important change which happens in everyone's  life. We all dream about beautiful marriage ceremony, as it looks in movies and in fairytales.
 Even when we are child, we still like marriages, without understanding its actual meaning, we just like it because of beautiful white gown, testy cakes, candies and of course happiness around it.

Later on, when we grow up, we realize that wedding is not just a ceremony, it's a change for whole life, and when fairytale ends, the real life starts.
 Everyone wants successful marriage, loving and caring husband or wife, understanding, prosperity, peace and harmony. And when in front of priest we change the rings, we pray for one thing, to have a happy marriage life. However how many married couples stay happy after marriage? it's a big question.

Marriage is itself challenge for couple, and it does not depend on how long you have been in relationship, still after marriage many things change and you discover new characters of your spouse. This time needs mutual understanding from both side and of course patience.

 I am one of those girls, who had a courage to make decision continue my life journey with foreigner in another country.
 Let me say it was a long and very difficult way through which I have gone before my marriage. Eight years we were struggling,  we were fighting for our love, we came across many barriers, long distance, career failure, depression. We met when we were too young, but we got married when we were enough mature.

 Now, when I look back I understand it was a trial, to be ready for new life.
 I don't know much about other nations, but marriage with Indian is a very responsible step, specially when you are planning to live in India.

 India is a country of traditions, those traditions come from centuries, some of them are strange and not comprehensible for us, but always followed with billion of people here. Most of traditions related to religion, and India has more than four religions.

 Indian boy can be loving and caring husband, good father, but there are lot of cultural differences which can destroy relationship, if couple is not patient, and love is not enough strong.
 I believe before marry to foreigner, one has to visit that country, explore and see that culture, religion, and of course to know rules  about marriage acts. I know, it seems funny, and even when I remember my first years of relationship, I would have feel the same if someone told me this all. But by the time I understood those are necessary things which I have to know.

 If your relation is serious and you are going to live in country of your husband, first thing is to learn the language. It doesnt matter in which language you speak with your spouse, for your convenience you need to know local language as well, because he is not gonna be the only person with whom you will speak in your whole life here. In India you need to know two languages: English and Hindi (in some states it's different ) English you will need especially if you are planning to work in the future, and Hindi you will need for communication, because wherever you go most of the time people will speak Hindi.Language knowledge gives you kind of confidence. you can travel alone, find friends, participate in cultural events and slowly and gradually integrate yourself with this society.

 Remember one thing, for Indians
wherever you come from, you will always be "white crow", they will always call your culture "western", and it doesnt matter even if you come from Japan, many of people think that out of India all cultures are "western". But here the problem is not about western or eastern, the thing is that what they mean with "western culture". Unfortunately so many people in India think that in "western culture", family, love, respect do not exist, girls are too open mind, they don't know how to cook, how to wash. (Its like in Armenia people think Indians are super rich). And because of this, many parents feel unsecured for their sons. I can understand this point because same problem we can see from our parents side.

 The first years of the marriage is a period when family will follow you.It's the hardest time for girl, because from one side you need to adjust yourself to new environment, and from other side there is a family which expects many things from you.

 Indians have huge families, here you have to remember each and every member: chacha, chachi, bua, dada, didi, mama, mosi and so on (those are hindi version of uncle, aunt,sister and etc.).

You have to remember all the accessories which married woman has to wear, and here it comes bindi, sindur, churi...If you are lucky and you got a family where no one force you to wear all these, so feel blessed and enjoy your life. Otherwise you need to follow the tradition, because people will expect to see all this on you everyday.

 Another important thing, be ready to learn how to cook Indian food (this can be after marriage). Even if your husband  promises, to take you  restaurant everyday, after marriage it's practically impossible. So soon or later you need to start making Indian food. When I remember myself before marriage, I was so scared, if I will be able to make even simple roti, but now I make not only roti, but almost everything from Indian cuisine. In my family, I try not only Indian, but also different cuisines, and everyone is happy with this.

 What I understood from Indians, they are basically still, but you need to respect their traditions, (and don't try to find any logic).

 For me there are two kind of festivals : Christian and Hindu, both of them I celebrate with same enthusiasm and happiness, according to every tradition.

My father use to say: "Respect others tradition, but keep yours as well".
And lets not forget that, people are different. Indians are a huge nation, with lots of traditions, which change even from state to state.

 And finally, everything can go smooth if there is love, mutual respect and  understanding.



Wish you all happy married life.